The folowing article was a contribution I made to the International Women’s Flag Football Association Magazine titled: FORWARD PASS Spring / Summer 2014
Mind Over Matter
I realized I was a gay later in life.
My life style was then challenged at every turn; obstacles were plentiful!
I learned a lot and encourage everyone to be true to themselves, whether you
are gay, straight, bisexual …. or a female football player breaking the barriers of a male dominated sport.
“Be self propelled, believing, daring and un-afraid on your journey. In and under all circumstances be authentically you!”
How can you be, or live a life of authenticity when many in society demand conformity? How can you live your truth, love, and best life as a lesbian, when many would prefer you lie, hide, or even change your image, to meet their expectations? Why is it, the word fear gives the illusion of having more power then that of faith?
Forty years ago, when my partner and I stepped out of the darkness and into the light, revealing the truth that we were lesbians, Kate and I were nearly swallowed up by the demands, threats, fears, opinions and rejections of family, friends and others, who no longer saw us as Sidney and Kate. We were assigned the label of lesbians,
which negated all that we had ever been, to all who had known and loved us. We had, in the blink of an eye, become ineffective, invalid, and even invisible to many.
Whoever you are and whatever your lifestyle, bow not to fear and intimidation. You need not be ashamed or cower in the dark; you need not pretend, lie or live a life that’s less than what you envision for yourself, or your partnership. Perhaps you were taught that loving yourself was egotistical and selfish, yet how can you truly learn to love another if you don’t love yourself? How can you give what you don’t have? How can you have a deep, long lasting and loving partnership, if you haven’t partnered with yourself and who
you choose to be?
You have an in-born right to happiness, freedom and equality; a God given right, to seek self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-worth and self -actualization. Society may not agree with whom you live and love. Live your truth and love your best, anyway!
As each of us face down fear and live our authentic truth, we set an example and empower others to do the same; we no longer hide, but throw the door open wide and step out into the light of freedom to claim all that love and life has to offer.
In a partnership/marriage, two people become a team unbeatable when they step in unison to the same thoughts, goals, dreams and wishes. They have the stamina, determination and courage to strive for living their best life, regardless of the obstacles, problems or issues that rise up before or between them. In and under all ircumstances,
they are a team unconquerable, and do not compromise their gifts. Women’s football calls for all of the attributes described above. Now the question becomes the cceptance of woman’s football teams into the arena of recognized and legitimatize sports games.
What stands in the way of recognizing women as a formidable force to be reasoned with on the football field? My guess is the misconception that women don’t have what it takes to drive the sport into front page headlines.
For those who question the ability of women in the football arena, I would say observe their dedication to the sport; witness their strength, power, energy and determination on the field. Whether it’s a lesbian partnership (team of two, or a line up of women on the football field,) they are a force to reckon with and deserve an honest look at their competitiveness in the game of football!